Charlize Theron has spoken in detail about the night her mother shot her father.
Charlize Theron has spoken in detail about a tragic episode in her life: her mother's murder of her father in self-defense. In an interview with The New York Times, the 50-year-old actress recalled the fateful night of the incident, as well as the events leading up to and following it.
The murder of Theron's father occurred on June 21, 1991, in the South African town of Benoni, where they lived. The future actress's father, Charles, returned home heavily intoxicated and began threatening 15-year-old Charlize and her mother, Gerda. He opened fire through the bedroom door where they were hiding. To protect herself and her daughter, Gerda Theron shot and killed her husband.
"My father was a fully-fledged, capable drunkard."
I have memories from early childhood of seeing very drunk people crawling on the floor, and it terrified me. It became a regular occurrence. My father built a large bar in the house. This wasn't unusual: many South Africans create a place in their home where they can drink. But it became his home. He was a full-blown, capable drinker, but there were times when he'd disappear, we wouldn't know where he was, and he'd usually return in a really bad state, and the house would become noisy. My mother wasn't one to sit back either. She made it clear she didn't like his lifestyle, and this led to many abusive arguments. For me, the worst part was the way they ignored each other, not speaking for three weeks after a row. I didn't have any siblings, and the house would just be silent.
We were dealing with a charming drunk who was always looking for friends to join the party with, and a culture that simply accepted it—it was part of the South African reality. Men drink. I remember my little nephew, when asked, "What are you going to do when you grow up?", answering, "I'll drink." That was considered to be when you became a man.
"He didn't hit me, but he did other terrible things."
He was scary. He didn't hit me or throw me against the wall, but he would do things like drink and drive. There was a lot of insults, a lot of threats that just became the norm. When I was about 12 or 13, I remember the first time my mom said the word "divorce." We didn't know anyone who was divorced. My parents weren't religious, but in our culture, it was one of those things that was frowned upon. They had been married for 25 years. So when she said, "I think the best thing for us is for me to break up with him," it was scary because I didn't know what that would look like. I practically begged her to stay because the alternative seemed so alien to me. But I think she understood and tried to think of ways to get me out of the house. She sent me to boarding school specifically because she wanted me to leave home. She was very aware of what that was doing to me.
"He was in such a state that he just snapped."
I was 15 years old. My mom and I went to the movies, and my dad took the key to the front door, so when we came back, we couldn't open the door. But we always knew where my dad was. His brother lived a couple of streets away, and if my dad wasn't home, he'd be there drinking. Nothing out of the ordinary. We went over to their place, and they were pretty drunk, and I really needed to go to the bathroom. So I ran into the house to go, and he took it as disrespect because I didn't stop and say hello to everyone. In South Africa, it's really important to show respect to your elders. And he was in such a state that he just lost it: "Why didn't you stop? Who do you think you are?"
"I knew something bad was going to happen."
We left, but it was immediately obvious that something had changed. When we got home, I told my mom, "I think you're right. I think you should break up with him." I never imagined those words coming out of my mouth. As soon as I left the house, I knew something was wrong. She knew it too. I knew he was mad at me. So I told her, "When he finally decides to come home, please tell him I'm asleep." I went into my room, turned off the lights, and I was scared. My window looked out onto the driveway, and I could tell his level of anger, disappointment, or displeasure by the way he drove in. The way he drove onto our property that night, I can't explain to you. I just knew something bad was going to happen.
"Mom went after him and shot."
Let's get to the point: he finally broke into the house. He fired through the steel doors to get in, making it clear he was going to kill us. His brother was with him too. We knew it was serious, so when he broke down the first door, my mom ran to the safe for her gun. We took cover in the bedroom and held the door between the two of us because there was no lock. And he just stepped back and started shooting through the door. And here's the crazy thing: not a single bullet hit us. It's unbelievable when you think about it. But the message was very clear: "I'm going to kill you tonight. You think I can't get through this door? I'll get a shotgun." His brother encouraged him. My dad went to the safe, and my mom opened the door while his brother was still standing there. He ran down the hallway, and she fired once. The bullet ricocheted seven times and hit him in the arm. It's inexplicable. And then she went after my father, who by then was opening the safe to get a gun, and shot him.
"Mom wanted me to forget about it."
It's the ultimate sacrifice a mother can make. And then she got right down to it. The next morning, she sent me off to school. She simply said, "We'll move on." It wasn't necessarily the best solution, but it worked for us. She wanted me to forget about it. She didn't want me to dwell on it. There were no therapists around, so in her mind, the best therapy was, "We have to move on."
It really changed our relationship. We'd always been very close. We felt like a team. But that night changed everything, because looking back, after I'd gotten over the shock, I realized she saved my life. And that's really important.
"She said he died in a car accident."
I hid [my feelings]. I was ashamed because everyone knew, and they treated me differently. There was only one instance where I was violent, and it was a girl who teased me about it. She would go around telling everyone how she saw my father drunk. It was really painful for me because he would show up at school events completely drunk, and it was terrible. I always felt like I had to justify it for him, tell some story to smooth things over a little. I also tried to cover it up because I hated being pitied. I hated it. I think that was the worst part—the thought that now people would feel sorry for me for the rest of my life. So, for the first time [after leaving South Africa], I told the story that he died in a car accident. Because I just didn’t want pity. I felt very uncomfortable.
"This is common in many families."
Unfortunately, this isn't an isolated incident. Things like this happen to a lot of families. Women really do find themselves in a very unfair situation, even in this country (the US – Ed.). No one takes their situation seriously. And I don't think anyone took my mother's situation seriously. I think these things need to be talked about because it helps other people feel less alone. I've never heard of a story like this. When it happened to us, I thought we were the only ones. But now I'm no longer haunted by those memories.
Police ruled the killing of Theron's father as self-defense, and no charges were brought against her mother, Gerda.
"I knew how to take care of myself."
It (Theron's move to Italy at 16 to pursue a modeling career – Ed.) was amazing because it was an escape from reality. The only thing that was hard for me was leaving my mother. But she was the one who said, "Go and build your own life. There's nothing for you here now."
I was completely prepared. I knew how to take care of myself. That's what my mother, my lifestyle, my country had taught me. I knew how to cook, I knew how to sew. I knew more than my children will ever know as adults about how to take care of themselves. So I knew I could survive. And I also had real motivation. I was determined to do this on my own and not fail, because I didn't want to go back.
"People think I'm a cool girl."
People think I'm a cool girl. Many people think I'm very cold because I seem confident. Sometimes I can be a little harsh. But in reality, it's the opposite. My children are so shy around me because I can burst into tears at any reason. I think that's why I'm so good at acting. I can easily enter these states. Sometimes I really feel things deeply.
Charlize Theron was born in South Africa. She is of German descent on her mother's side and French and Dutch on her father's. She spent her childhood on her parents' farm. At 16, she moved to Europe and then to the United States. Theron's first film, the one that brought her international fame, was the mystical thriller The Devil's Advocate (1997), in which she starred opposite Keanu Reeves. She won an Oscar for her leading role in Monster (2004), as well as a Golden Globe and a Screen Actors Guild Award. She has dated musician Stephen Jenkins and actor Stuart Townsend. In December 2014, she announced her engagement to actor Sean Penn after a year of dating, but they split in June 2015. She is the mother of two adopted children.
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