"I Drank Vodka Every Night." Elle Macpherson Opens Up About Her Struggle With Alcohol Addiction
60-year-old supermodel Elle Macpherson spoke about her struggle with alcohol addiction in her memoir elle: Life, Lessons & Learning to Trust Yourself.
"My life seemed amazing to everyone. I was doing great on the outside, but deep down inside I was struggling," Macpherson wrote.
At the time, she was in a relationship with French financier Arpad Busson, with whom she has two sons: Flynn and Sy.
She admitted that even after the birth of her youngest son, she was haunted by an overwhelming desire to drink, despite warnings from doctors that it could disrupt her hormones. According to her, all she "could think about was a bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice."
Elle wrote that she tried to cope with alcohol while trying to juggle relationships, motherhood and a career, and pretending that everything was fine, while she said she was "drinking vodka every night" after putting her children to bed.
"I wanted to prove to Arki (Arpad Busson) that I would be his partner in entertainment and business, the mother of his sons. I went out and drank, partied and drank again. It was a constant cycle."
She noted that she began to have problems with her memory and found it difficult to concentrate on conversations. "I would talk to someone and then forget what I had said. They would look at me questioningly, as if they were waiting for me to continue."
Despite her problems, people often said that Elle was very organised. "I tried very hard to be that way because I was drinking and I didn't want anyone to know. So I made sure the house was clean and tidy, that I looked great and that the kids were well looked after."
Elle later decided to go to rehab, but before that she wanted to go on holiday with her family to Ibiza. At first she held out for a few weeks, but then she broke down. After the children were asleep, she opened a bottle of vodka, breaking the glass lid. "I quickly poured myself a shot, which could have been covered in shards of glass. And I drank it. I remember thinking, 'I like this feeling. I've missed it so much.'"
When Elle went to rehab, she says she felt "humiliated and angry" at being placed in a group for those struggling with anorexia because she was so thin. 
Macpherson gave up alcohol completely in 2003 and celebrated 20 years of sobriety last year. As she has previously admitted, she never regretted giving up alcohol because it "prevented me from being truly present in my life." At the same time, the supermodel emphasizes that she does not preach sobriety because she is "not interested in telling other people what to do with their lives."
The model recently admitted that she attended Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for 20 years.
Elle Macpherson was very popular in the 1990s. Last year, she was included in the list of the richest models in the world, where she took sixth place with a fortune of 94 million dollars. Elle is also known for her acting work: for example, she starred in several episodes of the sitcom "Friends", playing a dancer and roommate of Joey Tribbiani.
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